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Review – Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

In On Film on June 25, 2009 at 1:45 am

transformers_revenge_of_the_fallen

Ugh.

So I am sure by now most have heard/seen the various negative reviews for this movie. Before going into this movie tonight, I had also read some of these. Well, a lot of these. And you know what? They were absolutely right. You want honesty in your review? No sugar coating? Well you’ve come to the right review. This movie is pure, unadulterated, festering shit. Even with that description, I am being very kind.

I will say right off that I enjoyed the first one. The Summer it came out, I thought it to be one of the better movies of that particular Summer. It had great action sequences, humor, and Megan Fox. So all in all, not a bad little movie, I thought. This movie just takes that formula and throws it out the window. This movie is the most childish and stupid piece of cinema I have viewed, and I saw The Happening.

It’s just a nonstop barrage of corny jokes. Not only that, you’re forced to deal with characters you really couldn’t care about (Sam’s parents, for example). Did the writers and Michael Bay not realize that most watch this for robots fighting? I honestly didn’t know if this was supposed to be a comedy or an action film. I wouldn’t have a problem with that, you know, if the jokes didn’t make me want to preform a lobotomy on myself in the theater.

Another problem with the movie is the staggering amount of filler. The movie is about 2 and a half hours, it could have easily been 90 minutes. There is so much garbage within that it will force you to scratch your head and wonder why the hell they decided to leave that in. And who decided it was a good idea to make the final fight scene 2 hours? Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but it definitely goes on way too long.

I am trying to do my best to keep all spoilers out. It’s hard because I am dying to post them so we could all celebrate the sheer stupidity of the movie. I will just wrap this up by saying this movie has one good thing going for it, and that’s when you actually get to see the Transformers battling it out. Sadly for us all, those scenes are few and far between. Hell, why would we want that when we could have a HI-LAR-IOUS moment involving robot balls? OH MICHEAL BAY!

Seriously though, avoid this. Even if your a Transformers fan, avoid it. Being a Transformers fan myself, I watched part of my childhood die a slow death tonight. I will repeat it again for clarity….avoid this movie. Grab a torrent if you have to, just don’t waste your $10 bucks on this.

Oh boy, can’t wait until August when the rest of my childhood dies with the release of G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra. Can’t wait.

Avoid Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen as if it were a sex offender with the black plague.

Final Grade: F

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  1. Bay and company won’t be getting my money. Hopefully, the movie won’t gross much. Which would, again hopefully, lead to less writing jobs for Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman. Michael “Master of Time and Space” Bay probably isn’t going anywhere. That said, I may punish myself by watching a pirated copy.

  2. I didn’t really like the first one, so there was no reason for me to go see this one. :X

  3. I saw this today and actually loved it! There were a ton of action sequences, so I’m not sure why you say they were few and far between? I won’t name them but I can think of at least 10 or so good rumbles.

    The jokes were a tad corny, but surely not so much more corny than what was in the first movie? This one had a (A) balls joke…the first one had 2 jokes about pissing on someone (the dog on one of the Robots, and Bumblebee on the Sector 7 dude). So…that’s not too much of a difference.

    I agree, it was long as hell, but most people said after the original that they wanted MORE Transformers action…and I feel we got that in this one. There were a shit load of Decepticons (and not enough Autobots IMO) so that we got a really new glimpse into the world of these alien beings. Personally, I gave it anywhere from a B+ to an A-.

  4. I can’t agree more with your review for the exception that giving it an F might be too generous. The film fails on multiple levels, I’m surprised that you didn’t mention the walking stereotypes of the film Mudz and Skidz.

  5. It was late when I wrote the review and I completely forgot about Mudz and Skidz (though I’m not sure how). They were exactly what you said, walking stereotypes. It was double the pain of Jar Jar Binks.

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