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Spoilery Bits To GamePro: Please Stop Sucking Sony's…

In Gaming on December 12, 2006 at 5:10 am

Back in the mid-to-late 90s, I was a huge fan of the videogame publication GamePro, and to be honest, some of my fondest memories of the magazine back when folks like Scary Larry still wrote for it. However, when I got the newest issue in the mail recently, I have to say, I’m quite concerned that GamePro is officially taking the love of the Sony cock too far.

Not exactly sure why they want to invest so much love in the $600 PS3 anyways, since Sony plans to release a PlayStation 4 in 2010.

The new GamePro lists “14 Things You Need To Know” about the Sony Playstation three. Hit the MORE link and I’m gonna throw in my $0.02 on a few of said things…

1) The PlayStation 3 isn’t just a cheap blu-ray.

No, its an expensive Blu-Ray. C’mon, $600? Blu-Ray players are predicted to drop down to about $200 next year, and there really aren’t any good movies out on the format yet anyways. Without Blu-Ray, you’d probably be paying $300-400 for your PS3. X-Box 360? HD-DVD is an option, not a requirement, and look at the price of those systems. Want more proof that HD-DVD is not a good ploy to buy into? Take a look at Sony’s last attempt to create a new movie format; UMD’s are not even available in standard retail stores anymore.

2) The SixAxis controller doesn’t feel too light.

What?! The SixAxis controller, for anyone who hasn’t held one yet, is the weight of an empty DVD case. We lost rumble for this piece of shit? Oh, and for the record, yes, it does feel like its going to break the second you pick it up. I don’t care if it actually will, or if its actually going to, I care that it feels like its going to. Fuck you, Sony.

3) The SixAxis motion sensing takes some getting used to.

That one game must be really hard to learn.

Let me go on record as saying that the Wii controller is a thing of beauty, and as far as PS3 goes, I would give up next-gen graphics and SixAxis just to get back rumble on the damn thing.

13) The power supply is integrated directly into the system.

Hrm, come to think of it, so was the original PlayStation 2’s. PSTwo’s have a power brick. Yup, I’m calling it right now. Expect a power-brick’d PSThree in 2008.

Look, fact of the matter is, I’ve always been a Sony fanboy. I’ve always preferred the huge library of the PSOne/Two over the other systems, even though I love my GameCube and my X-Box. But quite frankly, this is ridiculous. Plus, the thing that made the other consoles library so large is now moot, since you need a $15 adaptor to get a PSOne/Two memory card to work on your PS3. $600 for this? C’mon Sony, you can do better than this. Even I loved my PSP.

Here’s hoping you don’t fuck up again in 2010. Though honestly, releasing in four years I fear you already may have.


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