The Drunken Vagrant Next Door

Seriously, the next time you people want to ask me why I’m so hot to move…don’t.

Oops. Also, Beast Enjoys Twinkies.

Missed The Pull List on the second week. Whoops. This weeks will be up tonight (hopefully). Sorry about that, but I was off redesigning the front page and forums for Stink Child Comics.

To make up for it, here’s a humorous photo manip I did.

If MySpace Is The Internet’s Trailer Park, Friendster Is Its Mental Ward

I, like many foolish people, created a Friendster account way back when. Naturally, the thing has been collecting dust in this now legendary Age of MySpace, but there was a time when Friendster was “da shizzle”, and the perfect hangout for lonely hearts, emo kids, and pedophiles alike.

I do, occasionally, still get some message notifications from Friendster. Apparently, I have not set my block filters strictly enough. And for your humorous enjoyment tonight, you can thank me.

I’ve included a screengrab of the Friendster message I got today from “Christian”. See if you can find what’s wrong with the picture. Can’t figure it out? The answer is below, just hit the More link to find out what’s wonky.

Steve Vs. Bill…To The Death-ish!

Well, here it is. By far, the coolest Mac vs. PC ad EVER.

Gates vs. Jobs on SuperNews

Borat For Free Speech?

Source: Yahoo! Odd News: Borat seen as human rights victim by U.S. government

Oh, that silly Borat! Now the good ol’ USA is using him as an example of human rights victimization.

Yes, the same country full of people who sued funnyman Sacha Baron Cohen’s fictional Kazakh newsman Borat has has released a report criticizing the real Kazakhstan for its its restriction on freedom of speech, among other things, using the example of Kazakhstan’s decision to remove the website http://www.borat.kz, the “official” homepage of the Borat character.

According to the report, “The government deemed as offensive the content of a satirical site controlled by British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen and revoked the .kz domain,”

The long list of concerns also detailed in the report include military hazing, torture by police, unhealthy prison conditions, arbitrary arrests, restrictions on freedom of assembly, domestic violence against women, people trafficking and more.

Spoilery Bits: Odd Critters Edition!

KFC=Kept Free Critters?
Well isn’t that special? Somebody videotaped a bunch of rats running around a KFC restaurant (while the store was closed, mind you) from the sidewalk window. Yum!

Is your coat Minx or Terrier?
The ASPCA purchased coats off shelves and online and found that some of the fur actually came from dogs.

Awww.
And finally, as proof that not all pet stories are disturbing and sickening, an abandoned baby rottweiler was adopted by a cat. Isn’t it just precious?

Google Pwnz J00

Just got done playing with one of Google/GMail’s newer features, Docs & Spreadsheets. its a WYSIWYG, Word-style text editor that stores text documents online, and holy shit this is nice. Its completely free right now (all you need is a Google account, which are now open to the public and no longer invite only) and functions just as good as, if not better than, Microsoft Word. Its a real useful tool, especially for me, seeing as how going to college and being at home usually means my writing takes place on several different computers…all you need is internet access and you can open up, edit, and save your documents in HTML, RTF, .DOC, and even PDF format.

Its an excellent feature, and I highly recommend it. To try it out, shoot on over to http://docs.google.com and don’t forget to get a kick-ass e-mail account over at GMail.

Google Docs/Spreadsheet
GMail
The Paladin Online

The Holy Grail Has Been Found?

Somebody.

Anybody.

Please, please, please, please, please, please PLEASE.

Make this a full length movie.

http://legendofchucknorris.com/

Teenage Mutant Ninja–Holee Shit!

http://www.flabber.nl/archief/019182.php

The above link is clearly the portal to madness. Its the tale of a grown woman, working a minimum wage job, who is so obsessed with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that she goes so far as to take out bank loans to afford pieces such as the original head props from TMNT3. I dub thee, insanity!

Leto Chokes Wood! Washington Goes Into…Gayhab?

Okay, I know I’ve said before I won’t do Celebrity Posts, but these were just too damn good to pass up.

Backstage at a recent awards show, Elijah Wood was assaulted by 30 Seconds to Mars frontman Jared Leto. Apparently, Wood told Mr. Leto he didn’t like his band (don’t feel bad Jared, a lot of people don’t like your band), so Jared told him he was a fucking asshole. (How mature!)

Wood, shellshocked, began telling people around him that he had just been told off by Jared Leto, when Leto came back and and grabbed him.

It must be nice to be the King of the Emos, eh?

On a different note, Gray’s Anatomy star Isaiah Washington has reportedly checked into a rehab facility after various slurs towards co-star T. R. Knight. Washington has been catching a lot of heat recently after calling his now outed co-star a “faggot” at several outings, which has led to lots of negative response and ABC debating whether or not to fire Washington immediatly from the series.

Now, I’m not really sure where you go to rehab to become Pro-Gay (Is there a Fag Hag wing of the Betty Ford Clinic?), but good luck not getting fired, Mr. Washington.

The Anime Homeworld; A Retrospective

Today, between classes, I decided it was time to buckle down and clean out my old Yahoo! account. I’ve had the e-mail address for literally ages, and have used it ever since the original inception of my Anime fansite, The Anime Homeworld.

Now, mind you, AH is currently six feet under (Hey, I’m working on it!), and there have been several false starts. But I found this letter today, and decided that fuck it, I’m going to publicly respond to this old letter from Hctrd04@aol.com

Does Hctrd remember this? Not a chance in hell. Will he ever read this? Highly doubtful. Do I care? Of course not. But here’s an idea of some of the great letters I got during my tenure running The Anime Homeworld.

Hctrd04 says…

you claim that their is no dragonball af, how can you be so sure, have you spoken directly to the creator have you got a singed qote saying that theirs no dbaf.

Actually, the creator, Mr. Akira Toriyama, has publicly stated on numerous occasions that there is nothing past Dragon Ball GT. Hell, he barely worked on DBGT as is. Oh, and the fact that no new DB series has been released since the mid-90s, and all the “new” games focus on DB/Z/GT should further cement this claim.

How do i know that you are not telling lies when i have seen many web pages with the cnffirmation of that dbaf does excist.

You don’t. Welcome to the Internet.

You don’t realy think that anyone will belive what you are saying “you dumb ass” when your not even the officel web site for db,z,gt. and i very much dbout that the creator would say that girls could not become ssj becuse that sounds sexiste and for all you know could carry a lawsuit with it.

You want to sue me? Better learn how to spell sexist before you type up those papers, man…

i believe that you just despize the fact that another could come along maybe your to old to be watching db even though you love it, what are you 30 year old vergin due to your abcesion, i also think your bitter and that if you were a true fan you would be excited and not try to spoial it for all use true fans.

Abscession

\Ab*sces”sion\, n. [L. abscessio a separation; fr. absedere. See Abscess.] A separating; removal; also, an abscess. [Obs.] –Gauden. Barrough.

Yes, you’re on to me. I’m a 30 year old virgin, because I’m seperated from 10 year old animes.

This message was circa 2004 (at which point, AH had already been under hiatus for over a year! What site were you looking at man??). My original reply is included in the MORE post. Look for a new AH sometime in the next decade. Until then, feel free to flame The Paladin, so long as you actually read it.

Buy Merch Please?

Alright, so I’m an advertising whore, we’ve more than established this.  But my other site, THE PALADIN ONLINE now features official merchandise courtesy of Cafe Press.  Yeah, yeah, I know; the shit’s expensive and you don’t really care for it, well so what?  The purpose of the merch is to give you something cool, unique, and that you want to wear.  The fact that it also helps with the upkeep, publishing, promtion, and just general creation of all sites involved with Homeworld Productions…well, that’s just icing on the cake (for you, at least).

 Also, I worked my ass off making this stuff.  Its hard to find time to do work like this now that I’m in school, ya know?  So, c’mon…buy something!  And if you’d be interested in some kind of Spoilery Bits merch down the road, let me know.  Later.

EDIT: Oh, yeah, guess this is important.  The Paladin Store: http://www.cafepress.com/paladinstore

Perez Hilton is an idiot.

Looks liike Perez Hilton (author of PerezHilton.com and no, that’s not his real name.) is getting sued by X17, who own the copyrights of several celebrity photographs which he posted without permission.

Whoops!

Now you see why I’ll never do a bitchy celebrity blog. Yes, I love reading Hollywood Tuna and Popoholic, but a) the celebrity infatuation is bound to die very, very soon and b) shit like that always happens. That’s why Spoilery Bits remains your source for scathing, ranty articles on video games, comics and more.

Steven Seagal Energy Drinks: Eat Thunder and Crap Your Soul!

Whilst wandering Wal-Mart today as I often do when I’m bored (shut up, its a small town!), I happened upon what I thought to be part joke from God, part sign of the Apocolypse.

Yes, its Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt Energy Drink, available in two delicious sounding yet ultimatly vague flavors: “Cherry Charge” and “Asian Experience”.

Ok, first sign this was a bad purchase: They’re $1 a pop. Second sign? Exactly what the hell kind of flavor is “Asian Experience”?

Well, I picked up one of each, and let me tell you, I believe this was made by brewing Steven’s own sweat. It tastes like a hippie ate an entire herb shop and shat out the resulting mess into a pot. Don’t pick this up expecting the tasty zing of Red Bull or the sweet kick of AMP; this was reminescent of a bottle of expired V8. No, really. Its that fucking bad.

As far as what kind of flavor Asian Experience is, I still have no damn idea. The cans themselves feature only a beautifully rendered picture of Steven, apparently trying to take a shit (or who knows what, he always looks that way), with a list of the ingredients around the rim of the can. Aside from the name of the flavor, I could find no indication as to what exactly they were. But considering its the same ingredients in just about every energy drink made, I can imagine what it was supposed to be.

Maybe its your thing. I dunno, it could have been just me. Just me and the other two people I had try this shit, granted, but stranger things have happened. As for me, I’m only going to be buying two more cans Steven, and that’s to pull out at get-togethers for a good laugh, until about 2025, when I can hock them on eBay for about $2500. The winning bidder? Probably you, Steven Segal, trying to remember a time when people were crazy enough to let a mediocre actor/action star be featured on an energy drink.

Me? I’ll be back at Wal-Mart. If this is any indication, it won’t be much longer until we get Chuck Norris’ Roundhouse Kick Power Bars.